Clear night
by FienB
Summary: A BREAKING DAWN FANFICTION STORY...............The pain was running through my veins, like fire burning me inside. Why won't he just kill me, why? I felt his head laying on my chest. He was listening to my heart, for the last time...
1. Preface

**_First:  
_**I do not own twilight ! :D  
Stephenie Meyer does

This is my first fan-fiction story so...  
It was written **before** the real breaking dawn  
**Please excuse me for my terrible English, I'm from Belgium you see…**  
**reactions are more than welcome :D  
**And don't forget…KEEP READING

**Preface**

_There was nothing_ I _could do about this.  
I knew it would happen when I came back.  
But I needed to know. I needed to see if I was right.  
I wished I was able to say something, but my throat was dry and empty of words.  
Probably because of the thirst._

_Edward stood next to me, holding my hand, his other hand ready to fight.  
Why me, always me.  
The cold, rainy forest started dancing around my head.  
It was weird. Normally I couldn't faint anymore, but it felt just the same._

_"Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked.  
But still I couldn't answer.  
I_ was _thirsty.  
"Look what you've done you..." Edward groaned._

_But then, I only saw_ his _face. His very dark eyes.  
I looked straight in the eyes of my best friend..._

_

* * *

_


	2. Almost

**Almost**

When I woke up, it was still dark outside. Only a little bit of moonlight shined trough the open window into my bedroom.  
I rolled over, searching for his cold chest.  
But…there was no cold chest.

"Edward?" I asked, my voice very soft. I won't wake up Charlie.  
There came no response.

"Edward?" I asked again.

"You are awake already?" A high, angel-voice said. _This_ was not Edward.

"Alice?" Why was _she_ here? Where was Edward?

"Wouldn't it be better if you close your eyes again? You need your sleep."

"Where is Edward?" I asked, already panicking.

"Silly Bella." She came to my bed so I could see her. "He _may_ not be here right now, you know that."  
Was there something I missed? This must be I nightmare.

"Why…"

"Hello…, earth to Bella." She waved her hand in front of my face. "It's your last day, night, as Bella _Swan_!"  
It took me a moment to realize what was going on.  
And I agreed with my thoughts. This _was_ a nightmare.

"You're going to be a Cullen tomorrow. Today actually, it's four a.m. already." She sounded _really_ excited. She came sitting next to me.

"Oh, no." I muttered.

"What? Are you…going back on your word?" She looked straight in my eyes.

"What..no. Of course I'm not!"

"What's the matter then?"

"It's just…the whole party and…all the people and…"

"And what?" she laughed now, the whole bed shuddered.

"And…well…" How could I said this.

"…And kissing in front of _whole_ Forks and probably whole Washington too!" So, now I told her.

"Only forks." She said calm, with a bit disappointment in her voice.

"The church would be too small. It's already full now. And what _about_ the kissing? You two do nothing else than kissing the whole time." She laughed again.

"I know."I wrapped my arms across my chest .

"Are you angry with me now?" She asked, pretending she was innocent.  
What could I say? Of course I was a bit angry, but I couldn't be. _I_ was the one who let her organize the wedding.  
I could have foreseen this, even if I haven't a talent like hers.

"No, of course I'm not. I gave you the permission to organize it so…"  
She wrapped her arms around me in a big hug. Maybe a little too big.

"Can't…breathe, Alice." I tried to say.

"O, sorry. I still have to get used to it."  
Now _I_ laughed.

"And when you finally are, It won't be necessary anymore."

"True." She laughed with me.  
I thought about that for a minute.

"Alice?"

"Yes?" I looked down to my hands.

"What if…I don't survive?"

"You will survive, Bella. I can see it." She took my hand. "Don't worry."

"But I will be different."

"Yes you will, but not much. You will always be Bella Swan."

"First, I will be Bella _Cullen_," Alice laughed with that. "And second, I _will_ change. In a bloodthirsty person..vampire...whatever. Who wants blood more than anything  
else on earth."  
Alice stopped laughing.

"What if…" I muttered. "I'm a bit worried."

"Worried about what? You know everything is going to be fine."

"I going to _need_ blood..."

"True." She sighed.

"More than I need Edward…"  
She thought a couple of minutes about that.

"Maybe…" she said finally. "But you're going to be strong. Maybe you need Edward more."

"But I _want_ _Edward_ more than anything else on earth."

"I know that." Alice said softly. "It's going to be fine, really."

"Really really?"  
She laughed again.

"Really really."  
We both laughed now.

"Now, take some sleep, almost sister, Bella Swan."  
I laid myself down again.

"Alright almost sister, Alice Cullen."

"See you in a couple of hours." She said

"Wake me up at seven a.m. at least."

"Let's say six thirty."

I sighed.  
"Kay…"  
It doesn't take long before I slept again.  
Thinking. Worrying…

* * *

_I'm sorry for my terrible English. I'm from Belgium you see :D  
please review :D  
thxx_


	3. My day

**My day**

_I only saw pieces from what was happening.  
Edward was crossing the room, killing everyone on his way. I knew it was him, though I only saw the very white skin.  
I saw Charlie and Renée. Their faces explained what they felt.  
Edward looked at me for a second. -his eyes no longer gold colored -but moved toward them.  
"No!" I screamed. "Don't Edward, please!"..._

"Wake up, sleepyhead." A high voice took me out of my dream.

"It's six-thirty in the morning, the weather is fine –what you can call _fine_ in Forks –it's about to rain, so that's good. No reason to hide today. The temperature difference between 55 and 65 degrees, so get on your feet and _smile_ trough the day."  
How _could_ she be so excited? She took the quilt away and looked at me.  
I opened my eyes, my breath uneven.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Alice said. "You started screaming half an hour ago. What's the matter?"  
She came sitting next to me and brushed my tears away.

"It's just…Nothing. Bad dream, I guess."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Maybe later." My voice felt so heavy. So did my body.  
It felt like if the sweat exerted enormous pressure on me. It kept me laying down.

"Yes maybe, because now…"  
Oh no, she's going to say it.

"…You have to get ready for your wedding!"  
She said it.  
I grabbed my pillow and hold it on my head.

"Oh, don't be such a baby, Bella." She also took the pillow and smashed it in my face.

"Oh, Alice! That's _not_ a way to wake somebody up."

"But we have a lot to do in the next three hours, come on, wake up!"

"Alright, alright. I'm awake, happy now?" I was up, _now_.

"What would you like for breakfast?" She was already at the door and held it open for me.

"I'm not hungry today."

"Yes you are." She decided. "I guess you want some...cereals."  
I love someone who sees the future.  
A bowl with cereals was already on the table when I came in the kitchen.  
I grumbled, but I ate it. Maybe I was a bit hungry.

"When will Edward come?"

"You will see him in the church. You know he can't see your dress yet."

"But he _has_ seen it yet. In your head remember."

"Please Bella, don't ruin this moment will you."  
I grumbled again.

"Kay, got it."

"So, I'll call Esme and Rosalie."

"_Rosalie_?" I was really surprised.

"Yes, she insisted to help."

"Wow, which part have I missed?"

"Don't know. The past few days she started doing that weird.

"Okay."  
Alice grabbed her phone to call.  
Rosalie. Strange or what.

"They'll be here in a couple of minutes. They'll come by car."

"Why?"  
She looked at my with a face.

"Charlie." We both concluded and laughed at it.  
Ten minutes later, the red convertible parked at the front door.  
I hurried to get the door open before they could, but I was too slow –or they were too fast.

"Good morning, Bella. Did you sleep well? Aren't you excited?" Esme asked. Why was everybody so excited for my wedding?

"I don't sleep as well as other nights." Because Edward wasn't here.

"And no, I am _not_ as excited as you guys are. What's wrong with you, did you drink some strong coffee?"  
They all looked at me with the same face.

"Stupid question." I judged myself.  
They laughed at me now. I felt the blood burning on my face. I turned my head away.

"So." Alice said. "Let's get Charlie out of the house." She enjoyed that part.  
They went upstairs.

"Don't wake him too…" I couldn't finish the sentence.

"Charlie!" Alice cried to him. "Wake up, your daughter is getting married today and so you have to leave." Charlie grumbled loud.

"Oh come on. Wake up."

"Alice! That's _not_ a way to wake somebody up."  
Alice and I laughed at each other.  
Charlie woke up and went downstairs for breakfast. I went to.  
Sitting on the dinner table with Charlie for the last time. I didn't want to think about that.  
Too late.

"So." He started to break the painful silence.

"So." I repeated.

"Getting married." I sighed.

"I know."

"You know what?" He asked while he brought his spoon to his mouth.

"What?"

"I think I am going to miss you."

"I think you will. You can't even cook your own dinner."

"No, It's not that. Really, I'm going to miss you being here, your presence."  
Words were stuck in my throat. That little thought of him made me feel even worse.  
There was another silence. Even more painful than the other one.

"So, then I'll go to Billy's." He said after his breakfast.

"Good, tell him I said hi and that I'd like to see him at the …" I still couldn't say that word.

"I'll say. Maybe Jacob's back, then he should come with him shouldn't he."

"Maybe…" But I knew that chance was one in a million. I felt sick.

"See you, kid."  
He kissed my forehead.

"See you dad."  
I waved him goodbye and got back inside.  
Alice Esme and Rosalie were ready. I wished I was.

"I will do her hair!" Alice said, cried almost.

"Wouldn't it be better when we first get her in that dress?" Esme asked.

"Can't I take a shower first?" I came between both. Hadn't I _anything_ to say today?

"Sure, we'll get your dress out of the car." But Rosalie already stood in the living room with the dress.

"Done." She said simply.  
I went upstairs and took my new blue underwear out of my closet. He thinks I'm good with blue.  
Then I went to the bathroom.  
The shower made me feel better. It calmed me down a little.  
I could only spend fifteen minutes in the shower. I wished it had taken much longer.  
I took the towel and wrapped it around me.

"Ready, Bella?" Rosalie asked.

"Almost, done." I answered.

"Just, come to your room when you're ready."

"Kay."  
I dried my hair and get my underwear on. I knew Edward would like it.  
I went to my bedroom. Rosalie, Esme and Alice already unpacked my dress.

"Come on Bella. We only have two hours rested." Alice said impatient.  
I sighed for the umpteenth time today. Two hours…  
Rosalie stood on a chair, holding my dress up so I could get it over my head.  
I held my arms up so Alice could tie the corset around my waist. Yes, a corset.  
I thought about Edward, how busy he would be tonight. Despite his vampire speed.

"Done." Alice said. "Rosalie?"  
Rosalie dropped the white dress carefully. While Esme hold it from the ground, Alice tied the buttons in the back.

"You. Look. So…Pretty." Alice said walking around me. "I wish I were you."  
I smiled at her. I did look pretty in this dress.

"She's beautiful." Was that Rosalie? Yes, it was.

"I'll get the camera." Esme ran outside.  
She was back in less than a minute.

"Smile Bells."  
I tried, and it worked pretty well.

"That's a nice one." Alice said.

"Aren't you excited at all?" Rosalie asked.

"Well…a bit, _now_."  
We smiled at each other. A _real_ smile. Almost a sister smile.

"Now her hair." Alice clapped her hands.  
I sighed _again_. I'm getting more tired of her every minute. Rosalie got off the chair.

"Wait!" Alice said. She quickly cleaned the chair before I sat down. "I don't want that dress ruined," Was her explanation.  
She began brushing my hair. Very slowly, and every move concentrated. It felt good.

"We go to the ballroom." Esme said. "There is a lot to do."

"See you later."

"Ballroom?" I asked when they were gone.

"Yes, It's pretty big." I made a face. "But you're going to like it, really." She added quickly. I nodded.

"Don't move."

"Sorry."  
Alice did my hair very precise. Every piece had another place.

"Done." She said. "Shall I get a mirror?"  
Now I was curious what she made of it.

"Yes." I said, but she was back before I could say it.  
I looked to my mirror image.  
There were no words for this. It was so…beautiful. There were like a hundred pins with white pearls in my hair.

"Alice. It's…It's…"

"Don't you like it?"

"Alice, I love it! It's beautiful."

"So are you." She said.  
She quickly dressed herself. And she looked gorgeous in that bridesmaid dress.  
Quickly, she brushed her hair.

"Why do you let your hair normal?"

"Bella," She sighed. "_You_ are the bride."  
She smiled.  
We only had half an hour now. She really took her.

"We should go now."  
I sighed again. "I know. It's so weird."

"It is." There was a short pause. "The car is already outside."

"Kay" I said. "Let's go."

The way to the church was silent.  
I looked out the window. Everything was green. Too green.  
We arrived at the church and I saw Charlie and Billy walking inside.  
I took a deep breath.

"Ready?" Alice asked at once.

"No, so let's go."  
We smiled together.  
Before I could open the door, Alice got it. She helped me out of the car.  
Everybody was inside. Now only Alice and me.  
I took another deep breath and walked toward the church door.  
Carlisle stood there, ready to lead me.

"You look _beautiful_." He said.

"Thanks." I whispered.  
Alice walked inside, _very_ slowly.  
We followed her.  
I could hear the music. Real wedding music. Why did she do all this.  
I kept walking. Carlisle gave me his arm and smiled.  
Now I came closer.  
This was it.  
The time had come.  
My time had come…

* * *

_I'm sorry for my terrible English. I'm from Belgium you see :D  
please review :D  
thxx_


	4. Vows

****

Vows

Everybody was looking at me.  
Alice poured roses on the gangway. Everything was perfect, _to her_.  
I smiled and walked inside on Carlisle's arm.

"This is not very traditional." He whispered in my ear. "Normally, the father brings her daughter inside."

"I know, but there is not much traditional about us." Carlisle laughed softly and nodded.

"You're right." He said. "And _that _will never change."

"And Charlie won't do it. Too much emotion…"  
I smiled again and for the first time today, I looked in _his_ eyes.  
Edward was staring at me. His mouth wide open.  
_  
"Breathe."_ My lips formed the words without a voice. I saw him inhaling deeply and we both laughed.  
We were only ten steps removed from each other when we stopped. I looked deep in his eyes and smiled again.  
Then the music ends in only a soft background melody.  
Carlisle let me go. It was very difficult to me not to _jump_ in his arms, but I could resist it.  
I walked toward him to stand next to him.  
We smiled at each other. And then, he took my hand. The cold gave me goose-bumps, _again_.  
I looked around the church. Watching Renée and Phil. And Charlie, already in tears. I saw my whole class and their families.  
I looked straight in the eyes of Seth, who sat between Billy and his family. And I saw an empty place.  
An empty place what pretended to be my best friend.

"Sorry." Billy and Seth whispered together.  
I sighed. "Doesn't matter.

" But it _does_ really matter. Edward squeezed my hand.  
We sat down in the two chairs in front of the church. He kept holding my hand.  
The priest started his talk.  
I wasn't aware of it.  
I was thinking about everything. Charlie and Renée, Jacob, my friends, my future family, Jacob…  
Then the priest called us forward.  
Edward took my right hand and started whit his vows.

"Bella." He looked into my eyes. I was melting. "Before I met you. There was a black hole in my life. It was like a century waiting." I smiled at that.  
"Waiting for you. I'm not good enough to be your man, I'm not worth it. But I'll try." He squeezed my hand again. "I'll be."  
His eyes told my his whole story again. Mine were almost wet.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I'll be your husband. In good days and bad days. In wealth and poverty. In sickness and health. I'll support you in everything you do and I will love you every day of my life." He nodded quick.  
My turn. But I couldn't speak because of his penetrating gaze. He saw it and looked away so I could search my words.

"Edward." I started. "I used to hate Forks, I used to hate the rain and the cold." I smiled at him now.  
"But then I met you and now I love Forks and the cold and the rainy days. I love _you_. You're my star in heaven, my sun on earth. You're my everything."  
There was one tear rolling over my cheek. He took it with his other hand and smiled again.

"Edward Masen Cullen, I'll be your wife. In good days and bad days. In wealth and poverty. In sickness and health. I'll support you in everything you do and I will love you every day of my life, _and forever_." I could only whisper this last words.  
Then, _Rosalie_ brought the rings. _Rosalie_.  
She smiled at me.  
Edward took my ring and slid it on the fourth finger of my left hand. I couldn't look at that. I could only look into his eyes.  
Then I took the other ring and did the same. Only shaking a bit more. A lot more.

"Then I declare you husband and wife." The priest said. The whole church started applauding. "You may kiss the bride." He said to Edward.

"Don't faint," He whispered in my ear and laughed. Was that a warning?  
Then his lips found mine, his hands grabbed around my waist. This was a kiss I never had before. My mouth filled with his scent and breath. Now I got the point about no fainting. This kiss was special. Magical.

"Will the witnesses come forward?" The priest asked while Edward took me in his arms like a child.  
I saw from the corner of my eye Angela and Seth walking toward the altar.  
Angela was my witness. But Seth? Edward really asked Seth?  
Edward was still pressing soft kisses on my face, holding me in his arms while they signed.  
Angela was already eighteen, but Seth?  
I looked thoughtful.

"Alice governed _everything_." Edward said against my skin. I nodded.  
Then everything was ready. Edward kept me in his arms when we walked outside.  
He helped me in Rosalie's red convertible. He stepped in on the driver side and kissed me again.  
Alice ran, on human speed, toward the car and stepped in too.

"Hi, sister." She said. I laughed trough the kiss.  
Then Edward started the car.  
We were married…

* * *

_I'm sorry for my terrible English. I'm from Belgium you see :D  
please review :D  
thxx_


	5. Goodbyes

**Goodbyes**

Edward drove us to the ballroom.  
The whole way, he kept his eyes on my face. He couldn't let my hand go. His cold skin became warm in my hand.  
Alice kept quarreling to Edward. About the party and sisters and everything she could come up with.  
And then there was me. Silent.  
I was thinking the whole way about my past…and my future. Both impossible grown.  
The car stopped. I sighed, this is the worst part.

"Come on Bella, you can do it." Alice encouraged.  
I groaned softly, but she heard it.  
No I can't. I can't dance, I can't say goodbye, I can't be very optimistic at this moment.

"Bella, sweetheart, I won't _ever_ lose your hand tonight." He kissed me on my forehead.

"Kay." I tried to smile.

We walked inside. I saw the whole town in that room.  
They all applauded when we came in. Renée was in tears already.  
Rosalie took the microphone.

"Welcome bride and groom." She said, I was already embarrassed.

"Sorry Bella, I had to do this. Alice said." Alice made a face and the whole hall was laughing.  
We walked toward her.

"Welcome brother." She said to Edward, he smiled. He knew already what she would say though.  
Then her face turned to me. I looked away, afraid of her mean gaze.

"Welcome sister." She whispered. I looked up. That was _Rosalie_? I looked at Alice, she doesn't knew anything of that.

"I know I was _very_ rude to you in the beginning, you know why..." I nodded.  
"But, I hope you can forgive me, I love you like my sister and I want _you_ to be happy. I can see now you made the right choice." I smiled to her.  
There was a short pause.

"The first dance!" Alice cried trough the room.  
Everybody made place for us.  
Edward laid his hand on my waist and leaded me toward the dance floor.  
I looked up to see his face. He smiled. Pressed his lips gently on mine for a fraction of a second.

"Can't dance, remember." I whispered.

"Yes, you can, you'll see."  
Then the music started.

There were a few emotions I felt in that second.  
First, there was frustration because I don't knew how to start dancing –luckily, Edward was a good leader.  
Second, there was love. A lot of that, the whole room was filled with our love.  
And third, there was an unknown feeling when I heard the music flew around my mind.  
I recognized the melody immediately.  
It was my melody.

Edward smiled lovely at me, it made me melt again.  
The music made a tear roll over my cheek. He took it with his littlest finger.  
I smiled back to him.

Despite my bad coordination, we flew over the dance floor.  
Sometimes, I caught him taking me completely off the floor. It felt like if I was hovering. Then, we laughed both.  
He kissed me several times. So gently as he could be, as he was to me.

Everybody in the hall watched us, I could feel that. But I could only focus on his beautiful face. While he was leading me through the whole room.  
I knew some people were holding their breaths while watching us…and especially Edward, his dance steps were so…graceful.  
I felt mercy for _every_boy in the room –except Emmet, Jasper and Carlisle of course.

The last accords disappeared in the air.  
We came to a stop and he looked deeply in my eyes.  
I looked back, but I could not surpass his gaze.

"You did it great." He said, breathing in my face. I dazzled _again_.

"So did you."  
We went back to the rest of town –he was still holding my hand as he promised.  
They started congratulate us and gave us presents.

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Cullen." Esme and Renée said together.

"Thanks mum." Edward and I answered. We both laughed.

"I know you made the right choice, though you'll be so very far away." Renée said with sadness in her trembling voice and still tears in her eyes.

"Yes, I know mum. I promise I'll come over when…" I couldn't tell her of course. "When I have the time." Esme smiled a little smile.

"I know that, but still." She dried her tears. "So, go get your presents." She said finally. Still trembling.

The rest of the evening was very chaotic. Everybody was looking for us.  
It made me even more nervous then I already was.  
Edward noticed that and took me to a quiet place outside the hall.  
He placed his hands against the wall, next to my head.  
He pressed his forehead against mine and sighed.

"You don't like it huh." He whispered in my face.

"Yes, I do, but…"

"But what?"

"It's just what Renée said earlier."

"Don't. Worry." He pressed soft kissed on my nose.

"But I do." I said. I felt tears coming up. "I can't help, she's right."

"I know she is." He said calm. "Bella…"

"Yes?" I said, trembling voice. But he didn't answer. He pressed his lips against mine and kissed me seriously, my mouth was filled with his breath. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my fingers knotted in his hair. He allowed it. My heart started racing like always.

"Well well..." An amusing voice said.  
Who was that stupid person ruining this moment.

"Go away Emmet." Edward said, then kissing me again.

"Come inside, Alice has a surprise."  
Another surprise.  
We both sighed. I could hear Emmet's soft laughter.

"Keep that for tonight." He added laughing.

"Emmet!" Edward groaned. But Emmet was already gone.

"Let's go back inside." Edward said

"Okay." I could only murmur. My breath uneven of the kiss.

Alice' face was very amused.  
I looked at Edward, he knew what she was thinking.

"What is she…" But then Alice started talking.

"Hi brother, sister. Welcome back." I tried to make a face.  
"Of course _we_have a present too." She called the rest of the Cullens.

"Alice is right, " Jasper continued. "We won't let you go without…just…follow."  
I don't knew what was going on, Edward does. I wasn't fair.  
He smiled and kissed the skin of my neck.  
We followed –so did the rest of Forks –to another room.

"Oh my God, Alice. That's beautiful!" I managed to say.  
There was a painting on the wall.  
On the paining there was a meadow –exactly the same as ours, of course –and in that meadow there were a lamb and a lion, serene and in complete harmony. The lamb laid against the golden fur of the lion.  
Nobody in the room knew what it meant, but I almost cried and I ran across the room toward Alice.  
I wrapped my arms around her in a big hug.

"It's for your home, a remember." She whispered in my ear so only I could hear it.  
And yes, there were the tears eventually.  
Edward came toward us and started hugging too. Then it became a group hug with all the Cullens.

"Can't breathe." I managed to gasp and everybody loosed immediately and laughed.

The party went on.  
It was almost midnight and I was getting tired from the questions about the painting.  
But I couldn't explain it to them. Even Renée and Charlie I left with questions when the time had come to say goodbye.

"Take care, Bella." Jasper said calm. He came closer, concentrating every move, but then he gave me a hug. A first hug. I smiled to him. I was going to miss him.

"Bye Edward." Rosalie said, "Bye Bella. I'll really miss you."  
I looked over her shoulder to Edward.

"She speaks the truth." His lips formed. I smiled.

"Don't fall or anything." Emmet said hugging me tight. "Do that after your honeymoon." He added whispering. "Then you can play a game arm wrestling with me."

"Emmet, _I_ have to breathe." A little emphasis on myself, but imperceptible for unknowing people. Emmet laughed. I never heard him laugh so much before.

"Next." I said, my voice already trembling. They laughed with my little joke.

"See you soon" Esme and Carlisle said together. "We'll be waiting for you."  
I needed to dry my tears now. "It's going to be fine, really."  
It was actually funny to hear them say all these double meaning words in front of my parents.  
Then Alice stood in front of me.

"I can still see it, don't worry." I smiled and gave her another big hug.  
She unwrapped her arms.

"Alice?" I said

"Yes."

"Thank you…for everything."  
she smiled and I smiled back.  
Now the very difficult part.

"Promise you'll come over as soon as possible." Renée said hugging me. _Everybody_ was hugging tonight. It was a very long time ago I had a hug without gasping for air.

"I'll miss you Bells." Charlie said. Hugging me too. Was he crying? "Edward…"

"Yes?"

"Take care of her will you."

"Promise…forever."  
It was a real promise.  
Charlie hugged him too.

"Now go, before I really have to cry."

"Kay dad, mum, I'll miss you. Family…you to."

"Bye." My voice broke eventually.

"Bye Bella. Bye Edward!" They all called.  
We turned around.

"Wait!" It was Angela. I never heard her call so hard.

"Angela." I ran toward her.

"I'll miss you Bella." She was in tears.

"I'll miss you harder." We both laughed.

"Promise you'll write." She looked in my eyes.

"Angela, I promise I'll write."

"Bye!"

"Bye! Bye everyone!"  
They all waved us goodbye.  
There were people I'll never see again.  
_Don't think about that Bella._ Edward hold me in his arms toward the car.

"Bye!" He said now. Was it also hard for him?  
We stepped in the car, he held the door for me.  
The engine roared gently.  
We waved at once.  
Then the car started rolling.  
So did my tears now…

* * *

_I'm sorry for my terrible English. I'm from Belgium you see :D  
please review :D  
thxx_


	6. Perfect

**Perfect**

Edward wore me inside the little house.

"Welcome home sweetheart." He said smiling.  
I could only laugh.  
He kissed me while he walked toward the bedroom with me still in his arms.  
The bedroom.  
He laid me gently on the bed. I smiled. We both knew.  
Then he was gone. Before I could asked why, he was back.

"Locking the doors." He explained when he saw my thoughtful face.

"And that would stop them?" He laughed again.

"No, but they know." He came laying next to me, started pressing soft kisses on my face. What he just said made me think.

"You said…" I started.

"What?"

"You said they know."

"Yes."

"You mean…they know _everything_."  
He sighed and his lips presses kisses on my eyes. "Yes."

"But Alice,…"

"Alice won't look at us. Jasper will take care of her tonight."  
I sighed again. Edward kissed me on the lips now. Reminding me his promise.  
I kissed him gently back and giggled. We both remembered his promise now.  
I wrapped my arms around his neck and he started kissing seriously.

"I love you." He whispered through our lips.

"Love you more." I said.

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."  
He stopped kissing for a moment.

"How?" He laughed.

"I kept my word."  
He laughed again and kissed me, his hands were on my face. I felt the desire. Both, his and mine.  
His lips moved fast on mine. My mouth was filled with his breath.

"I keep my word to." He said. His hand moved from my face along my throat, to my shoulder and over my arm.  
It moved along my waist and hip. Suddenly, he took my leg and pulled me on top of him. He smiled. I kept kissing him.  
My breath became uneven and my heart started racing. He kissed me back while his hands moved on my back. We'll break all the rules tonight.  
He looked up to met my eyes. "I'm not sure if…" He started, his breath fast as mine.

"If what?"

"If…it will work."  
I sighed.

"It will. And when it doesn't, then so it is. Nothing to do about it then."

"But I'll feel guilty."

"You won't."

"Yes I will."

"Because, I'm going to forgive you if you can't do it and I'm going to have the best night of my live with you." I kissed him gently.  
My breath still uneven. Then his kiss became full of desire. My body tingled everywhere.  
He started to dissolve the buttons from the dress on my back. I giggled again. He pulled the dress off me. So gently.  
It ended up on the chair in the corner of the room. He sighed when he saw the corset.

"Alice…" He murmured. I laughed now.  
He sat on the bed now and pulled me into his lap. He started to pull the hundred pins out of my hair.  
I dissolved the buttons of his shirt, still pressing kisses on his pale, ice-cold skin.  
Eventually, my hair fell on my shoulders. He quickly threw his shirt by the dress and started kissing again.  
Laid me down gently, never losing my lips. My hands traced the cold skin of his chest.  
He gently hovered over me, I felt his cold skin on mine.  
He started to untie the ribbons of the corset. So slowly. To slowly for my desire.  
He had fun with it and I tried to open the button of his pants, unsuccessful because of my shaking hands.

"I'll help you with that." He said, his breath uneven too.  
The corset and the pants ended up by the rest of our clothes.  
He turned back on me.

"Blue." He said. We both laughed.  
He started pressing kisses on my chest and went down, very slowly, to my tummy. It was cold, but I wanted the cold.

"You are so beautiful, my beautiful Bella." He said between his kisses and his desirous breath.

"So are you, my beautiful Edward." He groaned softly.

"And dangerous." I said, smiling.  
He gently pushed away from me. He watched my face.

"Are you…are you afraid of me?" He asked with sadness in his voice.

"No!" I quickly tried to pull him back onto me, but I needed a bit help. I kissed him on his chest to make myself clear enough.  
I smiled and laid himself very careful back onto me. I shivered.

"What now?" I asked when he got off me so fast.

"You're freezing because of me."

"But I want it." I complained. "I want _you_."

"I just get you a quilt."

"No! I want every part of it, so I'll have the cold too."  
He sighed and laid the quit onto me. I pushed it away and tried to pull _him_ back onto me. He helped, but then laid the quilt onto him.

"Edward…"

"What?"

"You're so _pushy_." He laughed now.

"I heard that before."  
He stared at me. His eyes penetrating. His mouth came closer again.  
I kissed him eagerly.  
The kiss became part of the night.  
_We_ became the night.  
It was all perfect…

* * *

_I'm sorry for my terrible English. I'm from Belgium you see :D  
please review :D  
thxx_


	7. Doubt

**Doubt**

When I woke up, I felt the sun on my face.  
The sun…  
I opened my eyes.  
It took me a moment to realize where I was. Then I remembered.  
Quickly I turned around to met his mesmerizing gaze.  
His pale, ice-cold skin was glittering in the morning sun.

"Good morning, sweetheart." He said and pressed a soft kiss on my forehead.

I stretched me out.  
Suddenly, I realized how naked I was under the quilt. I quickly took it and pulled it over me.  
He laughed. I felt his cold skin against mine.  
I shivered.

"How did you sleep?" He asked.

"Not much." I murmured half-asleep, still looking in his caramel-brown eyes. He laughed again and pressed his lips gently against mine.  
His right hand grabbed around my waist, while his other hand stroke my neck.  
The cold made me shiver again, but my heart started racing already from his touch.

"I love you." He said very silent between my lips and his kiss.

"I love you too." He kissed me seriously now. His lips moved urgent on mine.

"You're so beautiful." I felt the blood burning in my head.  
"You're flushing." His hand brushed my cheek.

"_Again_." I said, my breath uneven yet.  
He kissed me on my forehead, smiling.

"Shall I get you some breakfast?" He asked.  
I sighed.

"If I really have to."

"Yes you have." He stood and I couldn't get my eyes away from him.  
His beauty still made my dazzle.  
He putted on some clothes.  
Before he walked out the door, he looked deep in my eyes.

"I'll be right back." He said with his velvet voice.  
He walked away.  
I sighed happily, but he was back before I could open my eyes again.

"I didn't knew what you wanted, so…I brought a bit of everything." He said smiling while he gave me the plate overfull of food.  
There was really too much food. Cereal, sandwiches, fruit, milk, …

"Er…can I get dressed first?" I asked still watching the plate with disbelief –I have no place to put all this stuff.  
He pulled the plate out off my lap and nodded.

"Sorry, I _still_ have to get used to it." He kissed me gently on my lips. My head dazzled again when I inhaled his smell. Then, after a couple of seconds when I ranged my mind, I realized my clothes were still in the car.

"Edward…"

"Yes my love?"

"My clothes…"

"Oh, yes, well…I'll go get them. Take a sandwich."

"Yeah, because I'm faster than you." He smiled pressed a little kiss on my forehead.

My heart fluttered. I haven't got the time to even _think_ of taking a sandwich.

"Back!" He said. Holding two bags, both mine? Alice…

"This one is a present…" He said.

"Let me guess…Alice?"

"Yes," He laughed.

I dressed faster than usual, probably because he was looking at me. I _was_ married but still…I have to get used to it.

"That was fast, almost as fast as me." He smiled

"Maybe I'll bet you when I am…" I added smiling too.  
I sat next to him. Looking in his mesmerizing eyes.

"Take a sandwich." He said again, his smile disappeared.

"What's wrong?" I asked, taking a small bite.

"Nothing…" His eyes leaved mine and looked down.

"There is _something_." I took his hand.

"Well…I…" He played with my fingers.

"Tell me."

"_I_ am a bit scared."

"_You_ have no reason to be scared."

"Yes I have. What if I can't control myself." His voice sounded sad. "What if I can't stop. What if I take your…being Bella away."  
He _was_ scared. I dropped my sandwich and leaned forward to kiss his eyelashes.

"Don't be scared." I whispered in his ear.  
I kissed his lips very soft.  
He opened his eyes again, still said.

"You can still ask Carlisle." He whispered.

"No, I don't want that. I want you to do it, I want your…" I won't tell him that. It will upset him harder than he already is. I can't.

"My what?"

"No, I can't tell you that."

"Oh please Bella, please. I can't stand it, you holding stuff behind, you know that."

"And you _never_ keep something behind." I dropped all my sarcasm on his head.

"That's…different."

"No, that's just the same."

"I only do that to protect you."

"Well, now I do too. I protect myself against you probably changing my mind after I said what I thought."

"Is it that bad?"

"Probably…"

"Just…tell me," He begged, it must be frustrating for him. "I promise I won't try to change your mind."

"And you won't be mad at me?"

"I promise." He kissed me gently.

"Well…" I said after my mind was working again. "There are a few things why I want _you_ to do it."

"Why?"

"First, because you _can_ control yourself –otherwise, I would be dead right now –and I don't know if your family can. I _know_ they are used to me now, but still…"

"Sometimes it's very difficult, you know that Bella," He stroke my hair. "Why else?"

"Second, because you already tasted my blood and you did it…you saved me. If you hadn't, I was already a vampire." I shivered at that word. He looked worried for a moment.

"And…"  
I sighed, how could I say it _without_ upsetting him.

"Well…most of all." I started.

"Yes?"

"It's a bit…selfish, no, _a lot _selfish."

"That doesn't matter, just tell me."

"I want you to do it because…" I laughed about my words, this sounded so stupid and selfish.

"What's funny about it?"

"Nothing actually, it just sounds very stupid and selfish and…"

"Tell me."

"Okay…" I sighed again. "I want you to do it because…I want your poison to end my life. I want your poison to give me a new." So, I said it. I won't look at him, scared of his face.  
He sighed too. I knew it, he would be upset.

"Bella…" He stroke my hair again.  
There rolled a tear over my cheek, I didn't even mention I was crying.

"I can't see why that would be a good reason…" I sighed, I knew it. He took my face in his cold hands, so I could look at him.

" But I can understand."

"Do you?"

"Yes." He pulled me closer to him, I buried my face onto his chest.

"Don't cry, Bella."

"Don't doubt anymore, Edward."

"I won't." He kissed my hair.

* * *

_I'm sorry for my terrible English. I'm from Belgium you see :D  
please review :D  
thxx_


	8. Moments

**Moments**

"Edward?" I asked, I sat on his lap in the warm grass. His skin glimmering in the sunlight.

"Yes?"

"What do we do after I changed, I mean Charlie and Renée…"  
He sighed.

"I don't know, maybe, when you're strong enough, we can go visit them sometimes."  
His cold hand brushed the skin of my neck.

"Maybe," I sighed. "_If_ I'm going to _be_ strong enough." I added soft, but he could hear it.  
His arm held me tighter.

"You _will_ be." He whispered in my ear.

We sat there for hours.  
Knowing the moment came closer.  
Knowing I was being Bella, and he was Edward forever.

I thought about all the moments we had together, ranged my whole life –my life started when I came to Forks.  
There were a couple of bad experiences…No. A lot, but they're all balancing with the good ones.  
Twilight came closer, the night came. Was it that late already?  
Edward moved.

"Diner time!" He said while stretching his arms. "I've got you some pizza."

"I'm not hungry." I said, why does it have to stop.

"Are you sure you aren't a vampire already, you're never hungry when I ask." He smiled his crooked smile for me.

"Maybe, it's because I need you more than food." We laughed together.  
I ate in silence for a couple of minutes. Then he started asking stupid, unanswerable questions.

"What are the most terrible things ever happened to you?" He begin.  
I couldn't answer that one immediately.

"That's difficult, a lot of things happened past years." I said trough my piece of pizza. He sighed and nodded.

"Just answer."

"I think it's a very recent one, _very_ recent." He made a face.

"Which one then?"

"I think saying goodbye to Renée and Charlie." He laughed.

"That's it, saying goodbye. Not the multiple vampire attacks or me ceasing them?" He asked unbelievable.

"I think…" I whispered. He laughed again.

"So, and the good things?"

"You know that already." I said. I walked around the table to sit on his lap.

"Mmmh." He kisses my hair. "I just wanted to hear, to know it for sure."

"Edward," I kissed his lips softly, "You are the best thing that ever happened to me and that will ever happen to me." His lips moved urgent on mine now. _Concentrate, Bella. _But I couldn't. My breath became uneven and my heart started racing. I knotted my fingers in his bronze hair, he allowed it.  
We kissed for several minutes. The pizza was cold already.

"Edward…" I whispered trough our kiss.

"Yes, love."

"I think…"

"You think what?" He started kissing again.

"I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?" Why won't he understand!

"Ready for…you know…"

"Oh…but…"

"Yes?"

"That's quick."

"The sooner, the better."

"Well yes…another bite of your last pizza?" He added sad.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic!"

"Dramatic? It's the end of your life, Bella!" He stared at me for a long minute, anger in his eyes. But he controlled it.

"It's also a beginning…" I whispered, he calmed down.

"True…" he kissed me again, a serious kiss. I felt all his emotions in this kiss, anger, sadness…but also happiness and love. Lots of love, and passion.  
He took me in his arms, hold me tight and ran upstairs.  
He laid me on the bed and closed the door.  
He laid himself next to me.  
We were silent for a couple of minutes again.  
He broke the silence.

"This is it then…"

"Still dramatic…"

"Sorry…"

"I know…" We were silent again, laying on the bed. Watching the moonlight reflecting on the walls. This is a moment I would cherish. It was the last of my humanity…

* * *

_now the chapters are in the right order, you can read it and I will continue.  
Thanks for reading anyway :D  
xfien_


	9. Sure

**Sure**

"Are you really sure you want this, Bella?" I could feel his cold breath in my neck.

"Edward, the only thing I want is being with you, forever…" My breath wouldn't slow down and my heart kept racing. I could feel my blood running through my veins. I still couldn't believe I would feel all this for the last time…

"Bella, do you really want to be a monster, weary for human blood. You know I want you forever too, but can't I do anything to stop your thoughts?"

"There is _one_ possibility…" I laughed and his eyes were thinking.

"What?" He was really unsure of himself.

"You could kill me, that's the only way to stop me thinking of being like you." He laughed his crooked smile again.

"Bella…" He came closer, his lips almost against my skin.

"Yes…" I whispered.

"I love you, and I always will, for the rest of my eternity." There was a vibration in his voice.  
Now tears came into my eyes. I didn't want to think about how much I would suffer, I wanted to think of us…  
I turned my head so I could feel his lips on mine for the last time of my humanity.  
His hands knotted in my hair, but this kiss was so gently.

"Are you crying?" He asked when he pulled his head away from my face.

"No…" I lied, but my voice broke.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

"It's just…I'm still a little scared." He tightened his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"Still thinking about after?" His soft voice made me calm.

"Yes, a little."

"Don't be scared, Bella. It's all going to be fine." He laughed a bit, but I could hear worries in _his_ voice too.

"Maybe you would even be stronger than Emmet. And maybe you'll have a gift..." He softly kissed my forehead.

"Yes," I sighed. "Wondering what _that_ would be." I thought for a second. "Probably the possibility to faint or something like that."  
Edward laughed now, the whole bed shuddered.

"_Probably_." He said while he moved my hair so he could kiss my ear."I'm here." He whispered.

"I know. Don't leave me." The tears rolled over my cheeks now.

"I never will, you know that. I'll stay right here." I nodded. He kissed me again.

"Ready now?" I know that he had two voices speaking to him right now.  
One that said he should leave me for who I am.  
And another one saying he _has_ to do it because _I_ won't survive if he didn't and because he also wants to be with me forever.

"Yes." I whispered so only he could hear it.

"Love you, Bella, I always will." His voice trembled. So did mine.

"You've said that before." I laughed through my tears."Love you to."  
That were my last words. Edward pressed his hard, ice-cold lips again against the skin of my neck.

"Now?" He asked at once. Still doubting.

"Now…" I closed my eyes and took one of his hands for support. And for love.  
I could feel his teeth that pierced my neck.  
Now I felt the pain through my whole body. It was like fire running through my veins.

"Shhhh, Bella. It's going to be all right." He said, panicking, while I was screaming it out.  
His free hand brushed my cheek, but I wasn't really aware of it. I was only aware of the pain.  
Even his voice was too far away. His hands slipped onto my shoulders, where they rested. He refused to release my hand.  
He laid his head on my –still very warm –chest. He was listening to the sound of my heart…  
For the last time…

* * *

_I'm sorry for my terrible English. I'm from Belgium you see :D  
please review :D  
thxx_


	10. Changing

**Changing**

"Edward," I asked without a breath –actually in sounded more like screaming -, the fire was burning trough my body.  
Edward was still concentrating on the sound of my heart that was slowing down easily.

"Yes, love?" His voice sounded sad.

"I hurts, I can't handle it. Please stop it!" I was crying, tears rolled over my cheeks into his hair.

"Hold on. It will pass. I'm here and I am not going anywhere." He said to calm me down. I wish Jasper was here, that would help, but we were alone on honeymoon. He won't be here –for our privacy -, neither did Alice. It was already terrible for her to see me suffer so much. Probably she was crying in Jaspers arms now, waiting for her visions to stop, for my heart to stop.

"Edward please!" There was too much pain. "You know I love you, and I always will, but please stop it. Kill me now. I _will_ see you in heaven. Please, Edward!"

"No, Bella. I can't do that. I love you too much for that. I _am_ already stopping your _life_. The pain will pass, I promise. And you are strong, you _can_ handle it, I know that." He didn't look away from my face, still waiting for my heart to stop beating. He brushed my cheek. With his other hand, he took mine again to help me through this.  
"Shall I call Jasper?"

"No! Don't leave me, I know I want this, I…" I couldn't speak –scream –anymore. Everything went black. I tried to resist it, but I couldn't.

"Bella?" His soft, panicking, voice sounded all around the bedroom, but I couldn't answer.  
I felt Edwards hand release mine.

"Carlisle?" He sounded in panic…

"I don't know, she doesn't answer anymore."  
_Was he crying?..._

"I know, I tried already."  
_No, he can't cry…_

"Probably."  
_But he sounded so…_

"Yes, please do that."  
_What?..._

"See you soon."  
_What, Edward. What's going on?..._ But I couldn't find my voice.

He took my hand back.  
"Everything's going to be fine, my love." He kissed me wherever he could reach without leaving my chest. I could hear everything he said, and I felt his cold, marble lips on my skin. But the fire kept me down. I couldn't response. I wished I could.

"They are on their way. It won't take long." His hand kept brushing my cheek and his lips kept pressing kisses on my, still warm, chest.  
Though, my heart no longer responded to his touch, it was slowing down now. I could feel that change…and I hated it already.  
I kept crying. That even though for the last time.  
I tried not to think about that. I tried to think about all the lovely human experiences I've had, including the last one. I was glad he tried, and that it worked. I already belonged to him officially, but now I belong also psychically to him. The memory made me feel better, a little. It _was_ a better memory than Jacob had before he changed.  
_Where would he be now, would he miss me? Of course he thinks about me, and he would probably hate me when…  
_I tried not to think about him either, but I failed.

"Edward, Bella?" Esme called.

"Over here." Edward still sounded in panic.

"Is she alright?"

"What do you _think_?" His voice sounded hard now.

"Let me take a look." Carlisle went closer, I could feel it, I could feel everyone of them. Even Rosalie. Was she here to? Yes, she was, I could feel.  
Only Jasper wasn't in the small bedroom.  
_  
"Where is Jasper."_ I wanted to ask, but still I couldn't find my voice.

"She fainted." Carlisle said. "Alice, get a cloth and some water."  
A couple of seconds later, I felt the wet cloth on my forehead.

"It's going to be fine, Bella. I can see it." Alice spoke soft.

"Jasper's on his way." Edward said desperate.  
_Could he here my toughs now I was becoming a vampire too?_

"Yes." Emmet said. "He went hunting first, he was really thirsty and Bella isn't transformed completely yet."

"I _know_ that!" Edward yelled almost. "You're not the one who can read minds." He still laid on my chest.  
Emmet took a step back, maybe afraid from the abrupt change in Edward's voice.

"Perhaps it's better when you come off her chest." Carlisle said.

"No, I am not going to leave her. No!" If he could cry, tears were rolling on my chest by now.  
It must be a silly view to see us here like this.  
Me, struggling against the fire that burned in my veins, and Edward, refusing to leave me alone, holding me tight, maybe too tight.

"At least don't _squeeze_ her to dead, _she_ has to breathe sometimes."  
Edward relaxed, and so did I.

"Thank God you're here."  
I _saw_ Esme going to Jasper, Though my eyes were closed. It was a clear view, like me eyes were open. I felt more strange then I already was.  
But with Jasper in here, I was a little more calm.

"We're all here now." Edward said soft and he pressed his lips again against the skin of my throat.  
_I know!_ I wanted to say. And I really knew they were. I saw it. I felt it. But I still couldn't find my voice.  
I wished I was able to kiss him back. I needed it right now.

I was sad. Sad for never seeing Charlie or Renée again. Sad for not being _me_ again. Furious at the pain.  
But I was glad. Glad I have them. Glad is was becoming one of them. Glad I was forever with Edward…_my Edward_…

* * *

_I'm sorry for my terrible English. I'm from Belgium you see :D  
please review :D  
thxx_


	11. Gift

**Gift**

The fire calmed down, moved only to one point. My throat.  
It was even worse than before.  
I wished I was able to scream, but it hurts too much.  
I wished I was able to cry, but only dry tears rolled invisible over my cheeks.  
Edward was still laying on my chest, listening to the sound of my heart, or what rested.  
He said nothing. He only cried…dry tears like me.

"Edward?" I managed to say, my voice sounded rough.

"Yes my love." He whispered back. Now he came off my chest.

"It still hurts!"

"It's the thirst, it's normal." He brushed my cheek, dried the invisible tears from my face.

"Where's Jasper. I don't see him, I can't feel him." I panicked even more.

"He went to get you some…food." His voice was still soft.

"Ah." I said. I wanted to go to sleep again, but I couldn't.

"I've changed." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, love. You are. And you are more beautiful than ever." He said while he softly kissed my forehead. "And you know what?"

"Mmmm"

"I still love you…yet even more." His cold lips –they weren't so cold anymore –moved to the top of my nose. "You don't smell as good as before, but you smell still so good."

"You smell better than ever." I whispered.  
He laughed gently. He kissed the corner of my mouth.

"How long?" I asked.  
He knew what I asked.

"Three days, that's normal." He said while he kept pressing soft kisses on my face. "But _you'_ve lost consciousness." He laughed again.

"I knew." I said by myself.

"What?"

"I said I love you, Edward."It was a lie, but I really _was _embarrassed. He smiled. And then he kissed me. His lips moved –softly first –around the shapes of my mouth. I kissed him back, nothing could happen anymore. His hands knotted in my hair, while mine moved to his chest.

"Nothing can happen to you anymore." He whispered, -answering my thoughts- to my lips. "You won't need any morphine anymore." I knew what he wanted. We were alone, the rest was out hunting, I could feel it.  
I started to dissolve the buttons of his shirt, while his hands moved to the base of mine. Still my breath became uneven. His lips moved now rougher on mine, and I don't even felt that. I almost forgot the burning pain in my throat His chest don't felt so cold anymore, but still my hands shook when I touched it. Maybe it wasn't the cold.  
I felt something. A presence. Someone came to our little house. It was…Jasper. He was coming back. I could feel it.

"Jasper's coming" We said together in the same anxious voice.  
Then there was a silence. Short, but it felt like an hour.

"How…" He started trying to figure out. "How did you…What was that?" He asked while he gently pushed off of me.

"I don't know." I whispered. My breath still uneven.

"That was weird, you know." He quickly tied his shirt around his waist.

"Very weird." I agreed, while I dressed myself again.  
A couple of seconds later, Jasper came in. He doesn't even knock on the door.

"I'll ask later." He whispered.  
But I couldn't even answer? The smell of blood burned in my nose and throat.  
I don't remember what happened next, but a cow, ripped in pieces, was laying on the grass in front of me. I felt horrible, I just killed an innocent animal. I wasn't able to feel my legs anymore. Edward was just in time to pick me up before I would fall.  
Again, I wished I was able to cry. Edward hold me tight and I buried my face against his chest.

"Don't worry Bella, It's nothing." He said to my hair.  
Jasper came to see what's happened. Immediately I felt calmer.  
Edward took me in his arms like a little child and wore my inside. He laid me on the couch. I was still trembling.

"Ssst, my love. It's going to be fine."

"Jasper, will you come _inside the house_ please?" I begged. I wanted, no, I _needed_ to feel his calm.

"Bella?"

"Yes."

"How do you _know_?" Edward asked, his lips by my ear.

"I see…" I whispered. "People, vampires, …"

"What?"

"I can _see_ them, Edward. I see where they are."

"Like…" He doesn't know what to say.

"Yes, just like Alice sees the future. I know _where_ she is, _right_ now."  
Edward's face was thoughtful.

"Edward," I whispered now, trembling voice, "I can even see Charlie…"

* * *

_I'm sorry for my terrible English. I'm from Belgium you see :D  
please review :D  
thxx_


	12. Truth

**Truth**

"What do you mean?" He looked in my eyes.

"I see them. Walking, cooking, playing with their children,…It's so confusing." I buried my head against his chest.  
If I could cry, tears would be rolling over my cheeks now.

"Ssst, my love. It's going to be fine."

"No, Edward. I can't manage it! It's unbearable. I _see_ them, Edward. I see Charlie and Renée, they are both crying 'cause I'm gone! What have I done to them."

"You've done nothing wrong." He said to calm me down –Jasper was calling my family to come over again –but I knew I did something that ruined my life and theirs. I knew they would cry. But this was what I wanted, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to be.

"Edward, Bella?" Esme called.

"In the living room!."

"What's going on? Jasper was so confused."

"It's Bella…" Edward said without looking away from me.

"First blood, huh.." Carlisle said, it didn't sound as a question.  
I looked at his face. He knew he was wrong about that.

"No, Carlisle. It's not the blood."

"What is it then?" Esme came closer, took my trembling hand.  
I wasn't really aware of it, I could only see the people.  
Alice was on her way too, I saw her running through the forest. Fast. She probably saw me in another vision.

"Alice is coming…" I managed to say.  
Carlisle and Esme looked at me with confusion.

"How…What…" Carlisle whispered.  
There was a pause, there was silence in the house. I could only hear the sound of the soft breaths stopping now and then.

"She _sees _people, Carlisle. She has a gift."  
Carlisle too came closer now.

"Is everything alright, Bella?" I heard him, but I couldn't find my voice. I thought about my visions. What did they mean.

"Bella?" My angel's voice called.

"I'm…fine…" My voice was only a whisper.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Hi Alice…" I didn't answer to his question.

"Hi…Bella."Why was everybody so confused. "What's going on." Though she knew I wouldn't answer, she looked at me.  
Five pairs of eyes looked at me. All the same confused gaze.

"Let's give her a rest." Edward said.

"Edward, stay!" I panicked. "Don't leave me alone!"

"I never will." He took me tight against his chest and a few seconds later, I laid on the bed.  
I curled up in a ball, my arms around my knees. He wrapped his comforting arms around me.

"They want you to explain what is happening." I whispered.

"Shouldn't you tell them?"

"No, you can tell them as well…" My voice was very weak.  
I wanted to sleep. I sobbed, though my eyes stayed dry.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I want to sleep, I _am_ tired."

"Sorry Bella."

"Why are you sorry?"

"For let you being like this." He sounded sad too.

"Don't be sorry, I'll be fine."

"Yes…you will…eventually…"

"Now look at us." I laughed softly.

"What?"

"Two vampires, laying on a bed. Crying dry tears. And still so happy." I said. "I'm happy though. I don't know what's about you."

"I'm happy too, my love." He kissed me gently on my throat.  
I churched for something else.  
He knew what I was looking for.  
His lips moved gently on mine for a long time.  
A few days ago, I should have said that my blood was racing trough my veins an my heart too as if it would burst out of my chest.  
And then he should say then that he loved that sound the most of the world, no, of the universe.  
But now, only my breath became uneven. Not even a little blush on my cheeks. There was only the sound of our breaths and our lips.

"_You_ should go tell them." He said trough our lips.  
I groaned.

"No…" he started kissing again.

"That _would_ be the best."

"I don't _want_ to think about it."

"Bella…" He barely touched the corner of my eye with his lips. "You have no choice."

"I know that…"

"You _can_ manage this. You've gone through _so_ _many, _my Bella. You don't know how proud I am of you." I smiled.

"You helped me trough all those…"

"Catastrophes?"

"Yeah…" I said, breathing again. "Thank you." Our lips found each other again.

"Go tell them." He whispered.  
I sighed.

"Okay then. Stay with me." I took his hand –never so cold anymore –and got off the bed.  
I was fast now, he could barely follow.

"A gift _and_ faster than me. You are amazing." He said adorable.  
I could only smile.  
"And lovely."

We came in the living room where everyone was arrived now.  
Carlisle and Esme together on the sofa, Jasper leaning against it with Alice on his lap.  
Emmet and Rosalie were still in the door opening, their faces concerned when they looked at me.  
There was a silence.

"So tell us, Bella" Emmet said. "You're special too, huh?"  
I sighed, watching the visions in my head.  
Suddenly I felt a calm in the room. I looked at Jasper, thankful.  
"What's yours?" He smiled. I took a deep breath.

"I see people." I whispered. "I see where they are and what they are doing." Edward squeezed my hand. "And I can't stand it!"  
I released his hand and ran to the bedroom again.  
Now I couldn't only hear them, but I saw Edward and Emmet arguing.

"So what now, huh. She'll never come over it if you push her like this." Edward said angry before he went after me.  
I felt his lips touching my hair.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"I'm fine." A vision of Charlie came into my head.  
_He was cooking for himself, whole alone. I swear I saw a tear.  
I felt bad, I wasn't fine._

"I'm not fine, Edward." I cradled up in his arms and sighed, he hold me tighter.

"Ssst…" He started humming my lullaby.  
Though I couldn't fall asleep anymore.  
"You will be…"

* * *

_  
oh yeah, sorry for my terrible...you know what I mean... :D_


	13. Controlling

**Controlling**

The night and the day had become forever.  
The first darkness of this forever, I thought about everything.  
I was still sobbing in his tight arms. But I only cried dry tears.  
Edward was still humming very soft in my ear. My lullaby.  
Normal newborns couldn't remember their human memories very clear, but I saw them all in my head.  
All of them. The good ones…but also the bad ones. The thought of _them_ made me shiver.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked.

"Just another memory." I whispered.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"You know all of them." I answered shortly.  
Then he kissed my eyelashes very gentle.

"Isn't there anything I can do?"

"I don't know. There is so much to think about, there are so many memories, so many visions,…"

"Ssst, my love. You can control it."

"But how?"

"I'll teach you when you're ready." He said, his lips barely touching mine.  
I thought about his words for a while, it only could have been a couple of seconds. Since my mind worked on high speed.  
_He can teach me. He hears voices everywhere and manages to pick out the necessary ones. Can I do that too? Can I block my mind from the other visions? Is that why Edward can't read my mind, because I block him?_  
I was ready. I knew I could do it.  
I did it before, actually I was doing it whole the time.

"Edward."

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I _am_ ready."

"Sure? It's very intensive."

"Yes." I whispered.  
He pulled me of his lap and wore me outside.

"Let's go then."

"Where?"

"You'll see." He laughed a little smile

"Edward, where are you going?" Esme asked as we passed her.

"Teaching Bella how to use her gift." He answered over his shoulder.  
Nobody said another word. Only six even breaths in the silence of this breaking dawn.

"Be safe." I heard Alice whisper after us.

We ran through the forest. Running wasn't so scary anymore.  
I could see every detail now with my new eyes.  
Every shape, every color.  
Every piece of the world.  
Every part of Edward's white colored skin.

"I can run for myself now, Edward." I whispered, not wanting to lose _this_ visions.

"Oh, yes. Forgotten. You want to try?" He looked at me. Stopped running.  
I nodded.  
He putted me down.

"Go ahead." He said. He released my hand.  
I took it back in the same second. Not wanting him to let me go alone.  
I wanted to feel him.  
My eyes found his.

"I don't…"

"Ssst," His finger on my lips. "I know."  
He kissed me very gently.

Then, I started running.  
There was an enormous boost of adrenaline running though my ice-cold body.  
The forest passed me in a rush. I was _fast_ now. Faster than Edward.  
He _had_ to release my hand, couldn't keep up with me.  
I was faster than the light, faster than sounds, faster than everything…It felt like I _was_ everything.  
I saw every little rock under my moving feet. Every insect.

"Bella!" Edward cried, but I couldn't stop. I won't.

"Bella! That's the wrong way!" Oops, that could only happen to me.  
I ran back to Edward.  
Embarrassed as I was, I my cheeks couldn't get flushed anymore.  
I ran straight into his waiting arms.  
The sound was deafening. Like a rock falling on the earth.

"Oops." I said. Laughing.

"Don't be embarrassed, my love." He said, his hand stroked my cheek.

"How can you? I can't…"

"I see it," He answered before I could finish my sentence. "Your eyes, _they_ can't lie to me. They always tell me the truth about how you feel."

"Oh no." I muttered to myself and I buried my face in his chest.

"_I_ like it." He said kissing my hair.  
I laughed under my breath.

"I like _you_," He added. "I _love_ you."  
Another kiss filled the air.  
It was another kind of kiss. A _very_ passionate one.  
My hands knotted in his bronze hair. There were no breaths anymore.  
My head wasn't filled with visions anymore. Only Edward and I in a world of our own.  
We both got too far in this moment. Suddenly we fell and rolled down the hill.  
A couple of seconds later, we were in a meadow.  
My eyes were closed though I knew perfectly how it looked like. The sound of a small river, the birds, the wind through our hair…The smell of the grass, the animals, Edward's sweet breath…  
I could imagine all the colors around me…  
We were laying in that soft grass, hands twined.

"Ready?" He asked. I had to open my eyes now.  
The first sun glittered on his skin. Then I looked at mine.  
It was like a thousand diamonds reflecting the sun.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered.

"I'm ready now." I said, sitting up, legs crossed.  
He copied my attitude in front of me.

"Okay," He sighed. "First, tell me all the visions you see right now."  
I looked in my head. It seemed like all the people in the world were crying at me.  
I sighed too and closed my eyes.

"I see a women, she's crying because her husband left her. And a child, also crying. I think he needs a patch."

"Okay, what else." He said. "Concentrate on _all_ the visions." I tried, but there were so many of them.

"I can't, it hurts in my head." I was angry with myself now.

"You can do it. I know." I concentrated on the people I loved, I shouldn't have done that.  
A vision of Renée filled my head. Tears rolling over her cheeks. She missed me.

"Renée." I managed to gasp.

"Ssst, my love. She's fine." He promised, but he couldn't read her mind so far. I could _see_ her crying.

"She's crying, because I left. She hopes I'll come back soon." I buried my head in my hands. Edward came closer and pulled me against his chest.

"Concentrate on that one." He whispered.  
I concentrated very hard, not wanting to lose it. It hurts in my head again.  
Then I felt sort of a glass wall in my head. I raised suddenly and protected the vision.  
The pain was unbearable, so was the vision.  
I could hold it for a second or two, then, the wall disappeared and my head filled again with a thousand visions.

"Arg." I gasped.

"You did it very well, sweetheart." His lips on my forehead.

"It hurts…" My breath uneven.

"I know, you need to practice. To forget everything around you except one detail." He comforted me.  
I thought about that for a sec and then remembered our kiss.

"There is another way for that…"  
I didn't need to finish that sentence. He'd understand.  
Suddenly my head was filled with a new view.  
The colors, the sounds, the smells. They all disappeared and made place for us.  
It was like _we_ were the landscape now.  
Just Edward and me in our own place again.  
Nothing could happen to me anymore.  
There was a new me. A new life.  
A new us…

* * *

_Keep reading  
(and keep **loving** twilight :D)  
so, I hope you like it.  
new chapters will be posted when I have inspiration_

_Please review!_

_xx fien_


	14. Whole alone

**Whole alone**

It was already twilight. Time had passed too fast.  
Time? What was that when you are a vampire.  
There wasn't such a thing as time when the day and night are forever.

"We really should go now." He said in a whisper. Suddenly, my head was filled again with thoughts. Colors. All the sounds came back.

"Mmm…" I muttered. pulling his lips back to mine. He kissed me back urgently.

"Really…" He laid himself next to me, still holding my hand. His other hand around my waist.

There was a silence, except the wind and our breaths though.

I opened my eyes eventually.

"Kay then…" Still muttering.  
I looked around, searching for my clothes. But the only thing I saw were just _pieces_ of cotton.  
I looked at him. A smile covered his face.

"It seemed like we have a problem here." He laughed at me, totally unashamed.  
I felt embarrassed. I felt nude.

"Crap…" I whispered.

"Alice is going to kill us when she mentions this clothes are ruined." He was still laughing.

"You are worried about _Alice_?" I asked. "And what about us being…naked?" He pulled me tighter against him.

" I don't mind…" He said, brushing my lips very gently with his. I laughed too now between our lips.

"Of course you don't, you…"

"I what?"

"Never mind." I kissed him back. He pulled me on top of him. His skin so soft under mine.

"Still, we have to go."

"Why _do_ we have to go actually?" I asked, wondering.

"Because the rest hopes we are still alive. They have no idea of where we are."

"Alice _must _have seen us." Oh no, that's another problem. I hate that little power of her so much sometimes. "She _did_ saw us, didn't she?"

He laughed again.

"Yes, she did."

"Oh no."

"Then she knows eventually what it is to see _that_, I am the one who reads _her_ thoughts the whole time."

"It must be a whole shock for her then." I grinned

"Very funny." He said. "Let's go."

I ran faster then before, wanted to be as fast as possible at our little house.  
Edward couldn't keep up with me.  
As I ran, the visions came back. Other visions though, happy visions came visit my mind, I kept a place for them too.  
There were no crying people now, they were all laughing. Maybe it was because I was happy now. Maybe.

I was at the house in only half a minute. I had to wait a couple of seconds -what seemed like a whole minute- before Edward ran straight into my arms.  
His lips found mine again.

"You are too fast for me." He murmured trough our lips.

"I had to be, look at me." His eyes scanned my body.

"You're right." Edward opened the door.

"We're back." He called as he wore me inside.

"Ssst, Edward." I didn't want them to see us like that. But there was a silence.

"Edward?" I asked.

"I can't see their thoughts." He said in disbelief.

He still hold me tight in his arms as he searched for them.

Then, on the table, there was a small white paper.

"Edward…" I said looking at the note.

"There must be something wrong." He said.

* * *

so.  
please review :D


	15. Destiny

**Destiny  
**

Edward took the note from the table. His eyes scanned it in less than a second.

"What is it Edward?" I asked, already impatient.  
He gave me the note and was suddenly gone.  
A shock ran through my body when I read it.

_Edward and Bella,_

_When you read this note, I want you to go as quick as possible.  
Clothes are on the bed.  
Aro is on his way, and not just to visit.  
He has company, a lot of company.  
Just do what I tell you to do.  
Love you  
Alice_

_PS. Destroy this after you read the address on the backside.  
Try not to leave a trail.  
They are fast._

I turned the page. Got the address memorized.

_Hotel Ad Turres  
Kralja Tomislava 111  
Crikvenica, Croatia_

I didn't notice Edward came back, 'till he putted me my clothes on.  
I putted the note in my pocket.

"Edward?" I said, my voice broke.

"Yes, honey." He sounded too serious.

"Why me…"

"I don't know sweetheart. I don't know." He pulled me against his chest.

"Why won't they just leave me alone?"

"It's going to be fine. I promise." He did that for the 6th time already. "Let's go, and hold your breath."  
I knew why. I _was_ a newborn.

We ran as fast as we could. But I knew it won't be enough.  
Demetri. He would be with Aro of course.  
I held Edward's hand as we ran. Tight, not wanting to lose him again.  
We ran in silence. Trying to think.  
Trying.  
The visions in my head were messing with what I really was thinking.  
I wished I had it under control already.

The swimming part was a very new experience, though I didn't get tired.  
But I liked running.  
I liked the adrenaline running through my empty veins.  
I loved the wind that blew in my hair.  
I adored the warm hand I was holding.

As we arrived in Europe, we needed to stay in the shadow –of course.  
We tried to run as much as we could in the day.  
As the night began to fall, we were already in Italy.  
Normally, It would have taken only a few hours, but with the shining sun…  
We ran faster in the night.  
Edward was thinking. I saw that in his topaz eyes.  
The lights dimmed in the little white houses, darkness hovered over us…

* * *

I know it's a very short one but more is coming, I just need to think a little.  
xx fien


	16. Explanation

**  
_I decided to continue this one after all  
I hope you like it. :D  
Enjoy reading_**

* * *

**Explanation**

We ran the whole night, I held his hand tightly.  
It must have been around 6 o clock as we arrived in the hotel.  
The first sun raised already on the horizon.  
Edward pulled me forward.  
We ran into the hall. The girl behind the desk wasn't even looking at us.

"Can I help you?" She asked with an accent.

"My sister reserved us a room." Edward said. As the girl heard his voice she suddenly turned her head to look at us.  
I saw her eyes widening, she searched for words.

"Euhm, yes. What's the name?" She couldn't keep her eyes away from Edward.  
I started getting nervous.

"Cullen." I said. Letting her know I was there too. But this single word made my throat burn like there was fire in it. Her scent.  
I lurched forward, Edward tightened his grip on my wrist.

"Oh, euhm, yes. For two?" She asked, her skin flushed immediately.

"Yes, for me and my wife." He said quickly.  
She looked suddenly disappointed as she looked at our rings.

"Pavilion three, room 103." She handed the key to Edward.  
We had to walk slowly to the door, but then he took me in his arms and we ran down the hill.  
I started crying dry tears again. Why couldn't I resist it?

"You did very well." He comforted me as.  
Then he pressed his lips on mine as he opened the door.  
We walked downstairs and he opened the door of our room.

"That smell." I said.

"I know, but you did so well. Really."

" I did not." He said me down on the bed and took my face in his hands.

"Bella," He said. "You did _very_ well. Normally, newborns are _unstoppable_. They _need_ the blood they smell. But you, you listened to _me_, not to your instinct." He really sounded confused.

"You handled this, how is that possible?"

"She never liked blood, remember the day you wore her to the nurse when you class tested blood groups?" Another voice said, then he knocked on the door.

"Carlisle!" I cried. I ran into his arms.

"It's going to be fine, Bella. Everything is going to be fine."

"What happened Carlisle." Edward asked.

"Let's go to Alice, she saw another vision."  
I took Edwards hand and we followed Carlisle.  
We walked upstairs. Carlisle knocked on the door.

"Come in." Jasper said.  
I almost ran into their room.

"Alice!" I ran into her arms. "Are you okay?"

"Now I know you are here." She glanced at Edward and then back to me.

"And you guys?"

"She did so well," Edward said, he wrapped his arms around my waist. "I'm so proud."

"What happened Alice?" I asked. Changing the subject.  
She sighed.

"The Volturi, they are on their way. They have company. A lot of company."

"Why?"

"They think…They see us as a danger."  
I stared in her eyes. Why would we be a danger?

"We are with eight now. That's a lot for a…coven." I knew she didn't liked that word.

"They are almost outnumbered."

"They're _not_!" I disagreed. "I saw them, they are with way more then we are, a three times more or something!"

"They are with more, for now." She continued.

"You are a newborn, they see you as someone who will create other newborns. They see you as the danger."  
I thought about that for a moment. Edward understood it immediately. He tightened his arms.

"They knew it whole the time." I whispered as I understood it too. "They will get what they wanted after all." Edward pressed his lips against my hair.

"I have to die after all."

"We won't let it get so far." Alice said.  
But I knew. This time, I couldn't be saved…

* * *

So I think the inspiration is working again :D  
I hope you like it but you have to know...  
I am writing 4 books now.  
- This one, Clear night  
- Another fanfic. , Midwinter  
And 2 novels  
- Black rose  
- One I haven't really a name for but it's going to be cool

so I hope you understand it when I don't write as much for this one  
but I'll PROMISE: I'll end this one too.

And promise _me_...KEEP READING!  
And when you know a good book please let me know. I'm pretty desperate since I read the whole Twilight saga + the host. I can't wait 'till Eclipse BreakingDawn and TheHost will come out in Dutch so I can read them in Dutch too.  
I don't realy want to read other books, but do you guys know other good books?

thx for support  
xx fientje


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